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Posted by mrcollector w dniu Luty 7, 2007

Po prostu fikcja fana obojętnie czego. Najczęściej przejawia się w sposób pisania różnych opowiadań, powieści itp. w uniwersum danego filmu, gry itp. Tego rodzaju rzeczy jest w necie od cholery. Cała masa najróżniejszego tekstu od akcji w każdej literze po komedie a nawet romansach kończąc na dreszczyku. Największym i zarazem najlepszym serwisem tego rodzaju jest FanFiction.Net, prawdziwa biblioteka tekstów. Na moje oko ponad milion fan ficów, niektóre zaczęte a inne skończone. Od krótkich po wielkie, mogące uchodzić za książki. Z filmów jednym z najpopularniejszych tematów do fan-ficów jest Matrix i Hannibal. W grach wyjątkowo dużym powodzeniem cieszy się Kingdom Hearts oraz Final Fantasy (ale tego można było się spodziewać po FF). Wśród takiej ilości tekstu trudno jest wyłowić jakieś fajne, smakowite kąski, perełki, wisienki na torcie. Poniżej macie tekst ze świata Grand Theft Auto, który uważam za dobry i który trzyma całkiem niezły klimat. W dodatku realizuje pomysł na który też kiedyś dawno wpadłem. Otóż chodziło oto aby w jednej części GTA spotkały się trzy osoby: Carl Johnson, Tommy Vercetti oraz gość z GTAIII którego imienia za bardzo nie kojarzę. Zalecam do szukania i czytania innych tekstów. Dla znawców angielskiego (na razie wersji polskiej nie ma).

Chapter 1: The Author.

Vice City 1986:

Tommy Vercetti stares out the office window of his mansion with great satisfaction. It has been a few days after he killed Sony, and Vice City was pretty much his for the taking. Tommy sports his usual blue Hawaiian shirt, jeans, sneakers, and gold watch. Ken Rosenberg walks into the room amped after snorting a line of coke. “So Tommy my man, what’s up for today?”

“Nothing much Ken. I was about to head over to the Malibu to collect revenues, check out the business.”

“Alright! Well go get it. You know where to find me.”

“Ken!” Tommy yells. “You need to stay away from the blow, your doing it non-stop. Check yourself into rehab.”

“You know what you might be right. I should stop, and get help.” He is silent for a second. “Or maybe next week I’ll start, yeah.” Ken exits.

“Damn moron.” Tommy leaves the mansion but as he walks to his white Infernus a bright flash appears around him. “What the hell!” Then he was gone.

Los Santos, San Andreas 1992:

Grove Street the place to be one again thanks to Carl Johnson, also known as C.J. to his friends. Carl stands on the steps of his brother’s house, Sweet who he is talking to. Carl wears a blue hat backwards, a white Saints Jersey, blue chandlers, blue low tops, and a gold watch. Dog tags around his neck, he is very muscular, and on his left forearm a tattoo of a cross. “All right Sweet I’ll catch ya later.”

“Were you going Carl?”

“I’m heading up to Maddogs crib.” Carl walks towards his mother’s house. “As his manager I need to help him with his tour schedule, and other junk.”

“See ya Bro.” Sweet walked back into his house.

Before Carl reached the garage a bright flash appears around him. “What the Fuck!” Then he was gone.

Liberty City: Present time.

What to do now? The man known only as ‘Fido’ thought. The Cartel was finished, the MAFIA weakened, with Catalina, and Maria dead he didn’t have any problems, no work, but a lot of cash. He wore his usual outfit of green pants, sneakers, and a black leather jacket.

A white flash appeared around ‘Fido’ then he was gone.

The three men found themselves standing in the middle of a large office. “You!” Carl shouted. “The mute that was wit Catalina?” Fido nodded.

“Who the hell are you two?” Asked Tommy.

“Ahem.” All three men hadn’t noticed the young man sitting at a desk. They examine the office more, it is big one with a fancy red carpet, and the desk the young man is sitting at is big but nothing on the top of it. The young man has blond hair, blue eyes, and an average build. He wears a blue baseball cap, gray sweatshirt with the ROCKSTAR logo on it, blue jeans, and a pair of brown work boots. He didn’t look as if he belonged in the fancy office. “Welcome gentlemen to Love Media. In Liberty City, the year is 2005.”

“2005!” Carl, and Tommy said shocked.

“What is going on here? One minute I’m in Florida now here?” Tommy stepped forward angrily. “Who are you, and why are we here? I want answers shit-head!”

“Mr. Vercetti no needs to get angry.” The young man stood up from his desk. “You can call me Actionman. I am the author, and you three are for my entertainment. Not to mention you can help me out.” The room was silent for a second the three men taking in the information.

“Say What!”

Chapter 2: What’s up.

“Man you need to lay off the Yay.” C.J. said with a laugh.

“It sounds more like that crack shit to me.” Said Tommy.

“Now before I continue you three should have an introduction.” ActionMax cleared his throat. “Tommy Vercetti from Vice City. Carl ‘C.J.’ Johnson from Los Santos, and the man only known as Fido who currently resides here in Liberty City.”

“You still haven’t answered our question’s prick.” Tommy’s temper was rising. “How did we get from our homes to here.”

“I am the author of this fic I can do what I want.”

“See your losing us with your crazy talk again.” Said C.J.

“Well crazy or not you three are working for me now.”

Tommy, and C.J. each take out 9mm aiming them at ActionMax as Fido just casually watches. “I don’t pull jobs for anybody me now.”

“Yeah especially coke head who take us from our cribs.” Added C.J.

Suddenly a dozen guards dressed in suits armed with M-16 assault rifles rushed into the room aiming their weapons at the three men. “See you’ve upset my guards. Drop your weapons, and listen to what I have to say.” Tommy, and C.J. did what they were told. “Now I want you three to pull some jobs for me, but first you guys must prove that you are worthy of working for me.”

“Oh that’s some Bullshit. I just finished taking care of stuff in Los Santos, and now I got to do this. I don’t think so man.”

“Well Mr. Johnson you don’t have a choice. I have seized yours, Mr. Vercetti’s, and Fido’s assets. Plus you will not be able to leave Liberty City unless I give permission; my men will be surveying areas such as the docks, Airport to make sure you stay here. Plus now you will give me all your weapons, cell phones, and money.”

“You mother fucker.” Tommy was pissed as was C.J. but Fido already began to empty his pockets liking the idea of more work of causing damage, and chaos to Liberty City.

“Here.” Actionmax took a beeper out of his pocket, and tossed to Fido. “This is how I will contact you three, and others might as well if they require your services. Now my men will escort you out so you may begin. Good luck. I’ll be checking up on you three to see if you’re ready.”

“Can’t wait.” Said Tommy sarcastically.

The Men escorted them out of the Love Media building leaving them on the streets of Staunton amongst themselves. “Where in Liberty City.” Said Tommy looking around. “I need to find out what today is.”

“I’m calling my bro.” Said C.J. Walking over to a pay phone. Fido just shrugged, and stood there watching the other two.

Tommy walked over to a man in a trench-coat, and brown hat reading a newspaper at a bus stop. “Excuse me sir, what’s today’s date?”

“It’s the 5th” He replied annoyed.

“Is it 2005”

“What do you think moron.”

“Give me that!” Tommy snatched the newspaper angrily.


“Do something about it. Prick.” He looked at the front page of the paper to see the date, and the year being 2005. “You got to be shiting me.”

“To Los Santos!” C.J. yelled angrily into the phone.

“Were sorry your call could not be completed.” Bang! The phone was slammed down.

Tommy and C.J. walked over to Fido. “Alright man do you know what’s up here.” Fido shrugged. “Great what do we do now? We have no money, weapons or contacts in Liberty.”

“You two are on your own.” Said Tommy looking to cross the street but suddenly a yellow Sentinel stopped in front of them.

One of ActionMax’s guards stepped out. “ActionMax has decided to provide you three with transportation. Here it is. Also you three must stick together, and find work if you want to get home.” The guard then walked into love media.

“At least he hooked us up with a hot ride.” Said C.J. examining the modern Sentinel.

“I guess we should try finding a job around this city.”

Suddenly the beeper they had been supplied with started to beep as a message was coming through. The three deadly men gathered around to read it. “Helped needed. Meet me at the radio station in Harwood if interested.”

“Let’s go check it out. I’ll drive.”

“No wait I’ll drive.” Tommy said as he walked to the car.

Carl walked next to him. “Nah, I’m the best driver in LS man let me take it.” The two faced each other.

“Listen pal…” Before the two could continue with the argument Fido had entered the car, and was in the driver’s seat.

The two looked at him then each other. “Fine I got shotty!” He jumped into the passenger seat.

“Fine.” Tommy entered the back. “This has turned out to be a great day.” The Sentinel then started on its way to Portland.

Chapter 3: Targeted From the Grave.

“Wow I thought that was you.” Said C.J. amazed. “I heard the stories of the Harwood-butcher when I lived here.”

“Yeah that’s me.”

“And you’re a big name in Vice City.” The car crossed the Callahan Bridge into Portland, as the sun was setting. “I’ve heard of you from a man I worked with in my time or whatever. He was paranoid, uneasy, and had drug problems but the man helped me with my business.”

“Ken?” Asked Tommy unsure. “Ken Rosenberg?”

“Yeah that was his name.”

“I knew he wasn’t going to quit.”

The Car pulled in the parking lot of the Head Radio, and Chatterbox Radio Stations, they exited the car looking for who paged them. “Where’s this guy at?”

“This ActionMax or ActionMan or whatever that freak’s name is better not be fucking with us.” Fido tapped on Tommy shoulder then pointed to the entrance of the station where a man was exiting.

The man approached them. “Are you three the one’s I paged?” They nodded at the same time. “You may know me the names Lazlow.”

“From V-Rock in Vice City.”

“Yeah we heard of you.” Said C.J. rolling his eyes. “So what’s up?”

“Alright.” He started nervously. “I need security. There’s someone out to get me. Sending me death threats, and calling me you know. I would have gone to the cops but they don’t know how to protect someone they just know how beat things into a bloody pulp.”

“So who wants to kill you?”

“Cousin Ed.”

C.J. starts to laugh. “What your redneck cousin?”

“No. This guy blames me for his problems saying I took his job his life sucks now blah, blah, and blah.” There is an awkward silence. “Ok well here’s my plan. One of you three drive with me in my car, and the other two follow us in your car to my home in Shoreside Vale.”

“Sounds good.” Tommy stepped forward.

“No wait I want him to drive with me.” Lazlow points at C.J.

“Why him instead of me? Or even him?”

“Well lets be honest here a Hawaiian T-shirt isn’t that intimidating, plus he’s the biggest of you three.”

“Yeah you know it.” Said Carl who noticeably had more muscle.

Tommy looked down at his shirt. “Why am I the only one who likes this shirt?”

“You guys follow us we’ll take the Porter tunnel to Shoreside.” Said C.J. getting into Lazlow’s old Sentinel XS as Lazlow sits in the back.

“Alright let’s go.” Tommy and Fido get in the car. Tommy looks at Fido as he drive’s. “You don’t talk at all do you?”

Meanwhile in Portland the new Don of the Leone Family MAFIA Joey Leone sits were his deceased father used to in Salvator’s ‘Gentlemen’s Club’. The red chair where most of his ‘favors’ he asked were given out. An older man in his mid 30’s wearing a blue suit with brown hair walks into the club. “Nick Reo how ya doing?”

“Good Joey. How’s the business.”

“It’s going good. I sold the garage but now I’ve picked up where my father left off. What brings you here?”

Nick takes a deep breath. “You’ll never guess the three guys I just saw together in Harwood.”


“Well one was Tommy Vercetti.”

“Vercetti.” Joey stands up. “You sure, nobody has seen him since he went down to Vice City.” Nick nods. “I would like to get to him, he used to be a Forelli foot soldier, and I know he took out our guys back in the 70’s. I heard that from my pop.”

“But that’s not all the punk that betrayed your father in San Fierro back in the early 90’s was with them, you knew him.”

“Carl Johnson.” Joey stares at Nick in disbelief. “Are you sure Vercetti and C.J. together?

“But that’s not it. The man who killed your father was with them.” Joey didn’t say a word. “I didn’t believe it at first but it was them. This is the perfect time to get‘em.”

“Yeah. Three men my father would have wanted dead together. Nick you still take jobs.”

“You know being a bounty hunter is one of the only things I know how to do.”

“Good.” Joey walks over to the window overlooking St Marks. “Because I need help fulfilling my father’s revenge.”

So far so good as the cars exited the Porter tunnel and now where in Shoreside Vale. Fido following behind looked around keeping track of the surroundings because they were in the suburbs close to the Cartel Mansion. “Is this it?” Asked C.J.

“Yeah just pull in the driveway.”

C.J. pulled the car into the driveway, the lights of the car spotlighted a regular Liberty City bum. “What’s this homeless guy doing?”

Lazlow looks at the man recognizing him. “It’s him!”


The man takes out a 9mm, and walks toward the car. “You ruined my life LAZ-LOW.” He says in a drunken tone. “Now I’m gona kill you.” He fires the gun hitting the hood of the car.

“Holy Shit!” C.J. jumps out of the car grab Lazlow from the back to get behind the car. “This guy’s whacked out.”

Cousin Ed stumbles towards the car taking another shot. “When Ur gone man. I-I’m going to take you job. Yeah that’s what I’ll do. Cousin Ed will rule the airways again!” He takes another shot hitting the car.

“Oh man do something!” Lazlow shouts panicking.

“Man where the Fuck is the other two jerks!”

On queue the yellow Sentinel rides across the lawn ramming Cousin Ed who rolls over the car. “You guy’s OK?” Tommy exits the car.

C.J. and Lazlow come out from hiding. “Yeah were cool but is he dead.”

They look over to see Fido poking Cousin Ed with a stick then giving the A-Ok symbol with his hands. Fido picks up the 9mm, and pockets it. “Woo glad that’s over with.” Lazlow wipes the sweat from his brow.”

“So is that all you need?”

“Oh yeah you guys are done thanks for the help here’s your pay.” Lazlow gives them 500. “I would pay you guy’s more but you did only work for me only forty minutes.

“I don’t care.” Tommy took the money.

“Oh, and can you guys take care of the body before you leave?”

“Sure.” Lazlow walk’s into his house.

“So we are splitting this green up?” Asked Carl.

“I got a better idea, why don’t we just go to a bar, and sped it there.” Carl and Fido seemed to agree with this. “I need a drink.”

Chapter 4: March Madness.

Three men the FBI would love to have get there hands on have settled into a small bar in the Red Light District back in Portland. They have been there 2 hours after dealing with Cousin Ed, C.J. and Fido are playing a game of pool as Tommy sits in a chair watching telling his story. All three men are enjoying their share of Bud Geezer. “And I still can’t believe that prick Lance did to me.”

“I know how you feel man.” C.J. takes his turn. “One of my homies, who was a brother to me, betrayed me. I killed him.”

Tommy takes a sip of his beer. “You can’t trust anyone these day’s.”

“Yeah that’s the sad truth.” C.J. sips his beer as Fido shoots. “I just want to know one thing since you went to prison. Is it true what they say about dropping the soap?”

“Real funny prick.” Fido smiles for once.

“I’m just playing man.”

“Your luck we need to work together or I would beat the shit out of you.” Tommy puts down his beer. “Hey you, what’s his name?”

“Yeah what is your name again?” Asked Carl.

Fido picks up a pen, and napkin from a table writing it down. ‘Claude.’

“Claude eh. What kind of name is that? Oh well I need to bleed the lizard right now.” Tommy stumbles to the bathroom.

“Man I’m gona be hung over tomorrow.” Out side of the bar on the streets of Liberty hundreds of people are running around screaming yelling jumping up, and down. They begin to cause damage to the city breaking windows, flipping a car, looting it’s an all-out riot. Sirens can be heard in the back with fires breaking out, and Riot squads attempting to regain order. “What the fuck is going on outside?”

Tommy comes out of the bathroom to see the chaos outside. “What’s going on?”

The big bartender puts the TV on as the 11 O’clock news comes on, the bar’s inhabitants gather around it. “Hello I’m Rebecca Wreck, and tonight’s top story is the city wide riot causing massive damage to the city. The Cause of the riot is Liberty City College’s men’s basketball team qualified for the NCAA tournament for the first time. Ever. Now to John sparks with the report on the street.

A fan ha the camera running. “AH! Yeah! LCC Beavers rule!” AHHHHHHHH!”

“Sorry folks but that was not John.”

“This town sure has changed since I left.” They look out the window Tommy still sipping on his beer. Suddenly a man on fire runs past the bar window. “That sucks.”

“Hey watch out.” C.J. and Tommy jump out of the way as a stop sign is thrown through the window.

“These kids are dead!” The Bartender grabs a shotgun then runs out of the bar.

“You Ok man.” C.J. helps Tommy up. “Hey this could be our chance to get out of here. With the city flippin’ it might keep that guy from keeping track of us. We drive to the airport I can fly us out of here.”

“Wait I think we have had a little too much to drink to even thing about driving let alone fly a plane.”

“Its now or never I’m out.”

“Ok Claude should drive though.” Fido shrugs then walks out of the bar. People are jumping all over the car shaking it. “Get these pricks off the car!”

Fido takes out the 9mm, and fires it into the air causing the rioters to scramble except one who runs toward Fido with a bat. “Guns Kill!” He screams before cracking him with a bat in the head knocking him out.

“Holy shit they killed Claude.”

“You bastard!” Tommy grabs the man by the neck, and slams his head onto the cars hood then tosses him. “Let’s get him into the car.” Tommy drove the beat up Sentinel to Francis International Airport hitting a dozen rioters along the way in his drunken state. “These pricks need to get out of the way!”

“Are we almost there man?” C.J. asked from the back with the unconscious Fido sitting next to him.

“Yep.” The car crossed the lift bridge into Shoreside then took a sharp turn down the road to the airport onto the road leading to the runway. All looked well until they spotted a group of ActionMax’s armed men in front of the gate to the runway. “Shit! These guys think they can stop us! Nobody stops Tommy Vercetti!” He speeds the car up making the entire group of men jump out of the way before smashing through the gate.

“Open Fire!” One of the men orders, the others fire their M-16 assault rifles at the car.

“Oh Shit.” C.J. gets his head down along with Fido’s.

The Cars tire’s explode as they are hit making Tommy lose control flipping the car on its top. The car skidded to a stop. “Carl, Claude. You two ok?” Now both were unconscious in the back. “Shit. I’m wearing a seatbelt next time.” He crawled out hurting from the crash. ActionMax’s men have surrounded him. “You guy’s are serious out not leaving Liberty eh.” The last thing Tommy could feel the smack of a gun to the back of his head, everything went dark before he hit the ground.

Chapter 5: Strapped.

The next morning Tommy wakes up with a pounding head ache but is surprised to find him lying in a small bed. He look’s next to him to see Fido, and C.J. also in small beds still unconscious. He looks around the room, noticing a military look to it with posters of war movies, and military supplies scattered around the room. “Where the hell am I?”

“My place here in Liberty.” Said a familiar voice.

Tommy looks over to see an older familiar one armed man. “Phil!”

“Tommy Vercetti. I thought that was you.” Said Phil Cassidy. “Where the hell did you go back in 86?”

“Oh man Phil you look different but I’m glad to see a familiar face.” Tommy sighs. “It’s a long and unbelievable story Phil.”

“I think it would be since you haven’t aged a day or changed your style at all.”

“Yeah.” Tommy stands up. “How the hell did we get here?”

“I found you three dumped right in front of my gate, I recognized you, and that fellow so I brought you in. Well wake your friends up I want to hear your story. Plus old Phil has some work that needs to be done.”

“Let me guess, involving the gun trade.”

Back at the Gentlemen’s Club Joey has organized a meeting of his top men, Nick is there, Luigi Goterelli, and Tony Cipriani is present all sitting with drinks listening to Joey. “Thank you all for coming especially after last nights riot. Oh man. As you know this meeting has been called to figure out what we do about the resurfacing of three foes.”

“I still can’t believe Vercetti has resurfaced.” Said Tony.

“Yeah.” Luigi chimes in. “And that punk from San Andreas showing himself. My boys and I will help you with finding these guys.”

“Good, Nick’s in. What about you Tony?”

Tony sits there thinking. “I don’t know Joey, I’m still stuck dealing with the Triads right now, and all of us worrying about just three guys.”

“These aren’t just any three guys.” Nick chimes in. “You all know what Vercetti alone can do but now him working with the other two.”

A taxi cab approaches the club as the meeting continues. “We find out what these guys are doing and who their working for then we’ll whack ‘em.”

“Where the fuck is he?” An angry female voice yells out.

“Huh.” Joey looks at the entrance as two mafia guards are blocking someone’s path. The guards are shoved aside by an angry Misty. “Oh shit.”

“Joey Leone where the Fuck have you been?” She stands in front of the mafia boss who has his arms up in defense clearly intimidated by the prostitute. “You got no more time for me anymore!”

“Sweetheart listen I’ve been busy I head of the family business now.”

“What you think you’re some kind of big shot now? Where doing this now, and you’re paying!” She grabs his arm. “Let’s go in the other room.”

“Ok sweet-cakes.”

Tony steps in front of her path. “Listen honey were in the middle of an important meeting here, your gona have to wait.”

“Get out of my way!” She kicks Tony in the balls sending the big man down gasping for air.

“Oh a shot in the pills.” Nick looks away as if he could feel the pain Tony was in. Misty drags Joey into another room of the house.

“Fucking bitch.” Tony gasps laying on the floor in pain.

Nick does the motion of a whip with his hand. “He’s whipped.” Nick looks at Luigi. “Hey isn’t she one of your girls? Why didn’t you do anything to stop her?”

“It’ll all ends up being a profit for me.”

“You fellows on spank?” Phil Cassidy leads the three men outside to his lot where a Barracks is loaded with crates full of guns.

“Spank?” C.J. says confused.

“Thanks for the help Phil but what do you want us to do for you?” Asked Tommy.

“This.” He points to the Barracks. “It’s loaded with my merchandise, and it can be yours if you use it to finish of the Columbian Cartel. The Cartel was a powerful gang here in Liberty that I had a few run-ins with. Their weak now, if you finish them off you can have these guns.”

Tommy looks at C.J. “Sounds good, we need to get strapped. Liberty’s something else now.” Tommy looks at Fido who nods wanting to finish off the gang which gave him many problems.

“We accept.” Tommy shakes Phil’s hand.

“Great thanks Tommy, good to see you again. I wish I could bear arms with yaw but the loss of this one, I’ve never been the same shooter.”

“See you Phil, if you need anything just call.”

Chapter 6: Property.

Two guards stand talking at the gates of the Cartel Mansion located in Shoreside, the remaining members of the weakened gang on alert in their fortress. “Did you see last night’s episode of The Real World: Liberty City?”

“Oh my god.” The other guard cries out. “I couldn’t believe that he way gay man. I was shocked.”

“That show Sucks!”

The two guards turned to see C.J. approaching them from across the street. “What you say man.”

“Those shows are for morons who dress like Crocodile Dundee.”

“Oh look what we got here lonely South hooder. Were going to kill you.”

“Nah man I’m representing Grove Street Los Santos.”

“You’re a long way from Los Santos gringo.” The two guards go for their 9mms, C.J. notices this reaching behind his back taking out his dueling Mac 10 Uzi’s.

He dives forward spraying bullets toward the guards catching them even before they could fire a shot. C.J. stands up, and looks down at his weapons. “Yeah that’s what I’m talking about.” He walks over to the outpost in front of the gates opening them.

A Bobcat speeds through the open gateway stopping right in front of the mansion door, Tommy gets out of the vehicle armed with a Colt Python. He walks to the front door kicking it open coming face to face with a group of angry Colombian’s armed with AK-47’s. Tommy nails the one in the front right between the eyes the others stared as he fell back dead. Tommy then backed out of the door way out of view. “Get the American!”

The remaining charged out of the mansion immediately regretting it as Claude stands in the back of the Bobcat holding a military issue M60. He smirked right before he opened fire bullets tearing through the gang members. Suddenly gunfire rained down on the bobcat from Cartel members on the balconies, Fido returned fire. “Claude you finish those pricks up there I’ll start finishing off the pricks inside!”

Tommy ran through the door looking for Cartel members, which he found at the end of a hallway three using an overturned desk for protection. Tommy could only peek down the hall as their assault riffles were more then him with his lone colt but he knew he still had the edge. The Cartel goons were spooked, they wouldn’t try anything brave against him. “Shit.” But he was still was suppressed by their weapons.

“Having problems?” Carl stood next to him.

“Damn were did you come from? Anyways yeah I got three here but you can’t get down the hall.”

“I got you.” C.J. holds a grenade in his hand. “Adios!” He throws it down the hall, it lands right in front of the Colombians exploding. C.J. looks down the hall to see the destruction, and smoke. “KAAAAAY!” He does his best Tony Montana impersonation.

“Let’s finish these guys off.” Tommy and C.J. continue there way through the house.

Outside two Cartel members have exited the mansion in an attempted to escape. They run to the garage outside, and get into a Cartel Cruiser. Before they even start the car one spots Fido in the driveway holding something. “What the hell does he have?” Claude takes the cigarette he had been smoking out of his mouth flicking it away then to the Colombian’s fear raising a bazooka. Before they can even start the car up he fires destroying the garage with a great explosion. He lowers the weapon.

“Damn man.” C.J. followed by Tommy approaches Claude. “You sure do know how to make a scene.” Claude nods.

“Well guys great work we kicked the shit out of them.” Tommy looks at the mansion. “I say this is a nice place for the taking. It’s not like these pricks need it anymore.”

“Yeah it’s our property now.”

“Yeah but we need to clean up.”


Hours later the three killers were now cleaning the mansion up, the bodies, and other things associated with the Cartel. C.J. followed by Claude entered a large room in the mansion. “This must be the master bedroom.” C.J. walked over to a dresser picking up a picture. “Holy Shit Catalina?” The picture was her, Cesar, and a few other family members. “Hey man whatever happened to her. Fido did the cut through sign with his hands, C.J understood. “Damn she’s dead, I figured someone would kill her sooner or later.”

Fido leaves the room. As he leaves C.J. opens a dresser drawer, he finds more pictures of Catalina’s. There are some of her, and some big Colombian guy, her, and Claude. To his surprise he finds one of her with him in it. “She kept these.”

He finds a diary turning to her last entry. “I killed Claude tonight, I am now in relations with Miguel. Claude was just to small time for me, I hope Miguel will bring some excitacion (Excitement) to my life as we will take Liberty. But I will never forget Carl, my partner in crime, and my lover. Just too bad he was scared of the love I offered! He was more like a Fu…” Carl slams the diary shut.

He puts the diary back but spots a few other photos, ones of a night he would have liked to forget about. That night in her cabin in Red County was where she showed Carl what she was made of. Unknown to Carl Tommy walks into the room, and looks over his shoulder. “Hey what’s up Car… Holy hell!”

“AHH!” Carl hides the photos behind his back. “Hey Tom.”

“What is going on in that picture?”

“Nothing man.”

“C’mon let me see.” Tommy holds out his hand. Carl hesitates but finally hands him the photos. Tommy chuckles looking through them. “I fell sorry for you man. It looks to me like you were the bitch.”

Carl angrily snatches the photos from his hand. “You don’t understand man, this bitch was crazy.” Suddenly the doorbell rings. “Who the hell can that be?”

They gathered around the front door with 9mm’s ready to grab from behind just in case. Claude opened the door to reveal ActionMax, and four of his body guards. “Sup guys. Nice place you found here. It seems I’m going to need you sooner than I thought.”

Chapter 7: On to San Andreas.

“I’m going to need you guys sooner than I thought.”

“How can you show yourself here after what happened last night?” Asked Tommy angrily. “Your prick guards here knocked us out.”

“Hey I told you guys to stay put but do you listen noooooo.”

“You need us?” Asked C.J. Does this mean that if we do it we’ll go home?”

“No not yet, but it will help your cause.” ActionMax looked around again. “Damn I got to admit I’m surprised at the progress you’ve made in two days. To tell you the truth didn’t think you three would work together.

“Alright what do you want us to do?”

“I need you three to go to San Andreas.” He looks over to C.J. “Don’t pop one Carl because you’re not going to Los Santos.”


“A friend of mine has been arrested by the Las Venturas P.D. He goes by the name of Lav, and for warning he’s crazy. Oh yeah and a arsonist.”

“OH this sounds promising.” Said Tommy sarcastically. “Why should we do this?”

“I’ll pay you guys. I’ll create an account for you three ok so you can put your money in there.”

“We do need cash.” Said Carl. Claude agrees with a nod.

“Now I have a man who works for me in Las Veturas, his name is Jay Banks. He will keep you three on the mission. He’ll tell you what to do when you get down there.”

“So to sum it up we have to go all-the way to San Andreas to save your psycho friend?” Asked Tommy.


“ActionMax baby.” Two attractive brunets walk up behind him, and both grab an arm. “Come back to the limo.”

“Ok fellas well I need to take care of some business right now so here.” He throws some keys at Tommy. “I own a Jet at the airport just take it to Las Venturas to Carl’s aircraft graveyard where you’ll meet Jay. Good luck guys.” They exit the mansion.

“Well let’s roll out.” Said C.J. taking the keys.

As ActionMax’s limo exits the mansions grounds Nick Reo watches from across the street in a Mafia Sentinel. Nick picks up a cell-phone, and dials a number. “Hey Joey. The crew in Shoreside was right I found them and they wiped out the Cartel. Plus there working someone who looks big, really big. Ok I’ll keep my eye on them.” He hung up the phone. A minute passed then Tommy, Claude, C.J. leave the mansion in one of the remaining Cartel cruisers. “Where the hell are they going?”

Nick tails them through Shoreside trying to find out where they are going they cross the dam but as Nick cross the intersection an Idaho rams into his side totaling the car. Nick gets out of his furious. “What the fuck man! Are you driving blindfolded?”

The man gets out of his car in a good mood even under the circumstances. “Hey what’s with all that yelling man? You should be jelling.”

“You’re a moron.”

He approaches Nick. “I’m tell’en you should be Jell’en.”

Nick gets angry. “You’re in deep shit because you just hit a felon!” Nick head butts the man knocking him out. Nick looks around noticing he lost the cruiser.


The three natural born killers reached the airport, and then took ActionMax’s jet to Las Venturas. They land the plane C.J. looks around the area with no one in sight. “Hey where the hell is this guy?”

“How about in there?” Tommy points to the safe house.

“Let’s check.” They walk over, and open the door finding two men smoking. “Truth!”

One of the men is Carl’s old hippie friend The Truth. “Carl my friend you’ve returned. Meet my friend here Jay Banks.” He points to a black man sitting next to him.

Jay is a small but tough looking man wearing a Las Venturas Bandits sweatshirt, and baseball cap with blue jeans, and boots (A/N: He’s like Ryder). “Sup.”

“Well good to see you again after all these years but the government is closing in on me as we speak. I must go.”

“Thanks for the reefer Truth.” Jay stands up.

The truth grabs a jetpack, and walks outside, he is followed by the others. “I’m returning to the mother ship.” He flies off.

“So you mother fuckers C.J. Tommy, and Claude?”


“Good now get ready because we got to chase down these guys for ActionMax.”

“Hold up.” Says C.J. “Forget this man I’m close to home. I’m going to the grove.”

“No your not.” Jay step’s in his way.

“Oh this should be good.” Tommy whispers to Claude.

“Your gona stop me.” Carl says in a cocky tone. “I’m going.” Carl takes a step toward the garage.

With lightning speed Jay kicks Carl’s feet out from under him, and delivers an elbow to his chest right before he slams onto the ground. Jay stands over C.J. Who has had the wind knocked out of him. “You ready to work now.” C.J. nods right before Claude helps him up. “I didn’t fuck him up to much did I? We need him.”

“You alright Carl?” Asked Tommy.

“Yeah.” He replies rubbing his head.

“No brains no headache right?”

“Yeah Tommy your right. Hey!”

“Hey.” They look to Jay. “You three clowns ready, time is not on our side here.”

“Alright what’s the situation?”

Chapter 8: Public Service Announcement.

Chatterbox Studio.

“Welcome back folks, I’m Lazlow, and your tuned into chatterbox.” He picks up a piece of paper, and reads it. “For our next feature we have our new boss here at the station ActionMax who has taken over love media. Welcome.”

ActionMax sits down across from Lazlow. “Thank you lazlow.”

“Now you told us you had an announcement.”

“Yes I do.” He clears his throat. “I would like to thank those who have been reading, and reviewing my fic. Especially lordmasterkris, and Kitty Gaby who have been reviewing consistently. Also AdoptedThug, DoWriter12, Music Man, ryando, CrankyFranky, MasklessDuckman, Phoenix Master, uknown50, and Aaron Gamemaster. Your reviews keep me inspirited to continue this fic.”

“Yeah this fic has been getting good reviews.”

“I have a few things planned for the next few chapters, which I hope you all will like. Such as our three main characters having their own solo chapter, and a special guest star from rockstar games making an appearance. So stay tuned. Oh yes also If you have any ideas at all feel free to give me a few, I’ll give those who do credit.”

“We’ll that sounds exciting, thanks for stopping by.”

“No problem.” ActionMax gives Lazlow a high five then leaves the room.

“Well there you have it the man in Charge ActionMax. Now here’s my favorite part of the show commercials. Chatterbox will be right back.”

Commercial: “Chea! This is the man the myth the legend OG Loc baby. You all know I’m GANGSTA, and now my new tour is coming to Liberty City. The Get Head Get Money, Get Prescription Drugs tour. I’ll show ya’ll the ill’s rhymes cause ya’ll know I’m number one, all the others are washed up posers. The Get Head, Get Money, Get Prescription Drugs tour coming to Liberty. And don’t forget my latest C.D. still GANGSTA! Peace!”

Chapter 9: The Chase.

“So listen up.” Jay walks to the garage, and opens it. There are two Sanchez’s, and an unmarked black enforcer in it. “Here’s the deal. He was being held in El Quebrados but mow the pigs are moving him to Las Venturas as we speak so we need to move. You with the funny shirt come with me in the enforcer, you’ll be the gunner.” Tommy growls walking toward the enforcer. “And you two will go ahead, and slow the lead on the police convoy with the bikes.” Claude gives the thumbs up jumping on a bike followed by Carl. The group speeds toward El Quebrados (Which is west of the aircraft field) to start their mission.

Meanwhile back in Liberty City at the police station in Portland chief Anderson sits in his office as he awaits the help his department desperately needs. Anderson an overweight man with gray hair enjoys a box of chocolate doughnuts. The phone on his desk rings, he picks it up. “Hello. Oh yes send him in.” A man of average size and build walks into the room. He has brown hair brown eyes wearing a black coat with a white shirt, and tie under. “Welcome, you’re uh?”

“Detective Max Payne.”

“Ok Freeze!” ActionMax walks into the room and time has stopped around him. “Cool it worked. Ok, now I know what you are all thinking here’s another idiot putting Max Payne in Liberty blah, blah, blah. Well your right.” ActionMax walks over to Anderson’s desk, and takes a doughnut from the box. “Yeah it’s been done before many times but don’t worry Max isn’t going to take over the story this is still about Carl, Tommy, and Claude.” He walks over behind Anderson, and tapes something on his back. “I think you, my loyal fans will like the finally that I have planned but don’t worry there’s a lot more of this fic until the end, and knowing how things work these days like twenty sequels will follow. Well I got to go.” He grabs the box of doughnuts, and runs out the door.

“Oh yes well I have a case for already son. Hmm where did they go?” He looks around his desk for his snack. “Oh well follow me I have a file for you in the other room, where I can get some more doughnuts.”

The chief gets up to leave the room, Max notices the Kick me sign on his back. ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ He thinks to himself.

Back in Las Venturas Claude, and C.J. speed ahead down the highway to catch up to the convoy. “There it is!” Carl yells pointing ahead. Claude nods as he spots a police car leading an enforcer which is holding Lav. Carl speeds to the front slowing sown then stopping. He jumps off aiming his dueling Uzi’s at the cops. “Don’t move!”

Claude has the cops in the enforcer under control aiming a sawed-off shotgun at them. The Jay’s enforcer pulls up. “Good work. Now Tommy get Lav out.”

Tommy gets out of the Enforcer then a walk over to the officer’s who have been lined up out of their vehicles. “One of you pricks better give me the key.” One of the officers does what he is told. Tommy walks to the back of the Enforcer opening it up where a man sits with brown hair, and a muscular build a prison jumpsuit on. “You Lav?”

“That’s me.”

“Where busting you out.”

“Alright!” He stands up. “That’s what I like to hear. Got any matches, a lighter? It’s been awhile since I’ve grasped one.”

Tommy tosses him the keys. “Uh no. C’mon lets go.”

Lav jumps in the back of Jay’s Enforcer. “I’m ready to ride!”

“Carl, Claude go ahead, and prepare the jet for Liberty.” Tommy gets in the vehicle.

“You got it!” They speed off on their bikes.

“Got him good.” Jay pulls away. All seems to have gone well but seconds later two highway cops one on a bike the other in a cruiser take chase. “Fuck, these guys are on you faster than fly’s on shit!”

“That’s a nice thought!” Yells Tommy. The officer on the bike begins to open fire on the enforcer. “Damn.”

The cruiser pulls up to Tommy’s side then rams them. “This is the LVPD pull over now!”

“Go shower with the guys!”

“Do something man!”

Tommy grabs a rifle then sticks it out the window aiming for the cop. He fires hitting the cop right in the kisser, his head explodes, and gore flies all over the car as it flips over. “Got him.” Tommy spots two more police cars the have joined the chase. “Shit!”

As the sun settles in Las Venturas Claude with an orange hardhat on and two orange glow-sticks guides C.J. and the jet onto the runway to take off. “Everything looks good just waiting for the others.” He says to Claude as he climbs aboard. Claude points out the window to the enforcer being chased by the cops. “That aint good.”

Jay stops the enforcer right behind the jet, and all three men jump out making a mad dash to the Jet with the cops on their heels. “Get this thing moving now!” Jay jumps aboard followed by Lav.

Tommy stands out side shooting at the cops trying to buy some more time. The Jet starts moving then Tommy jumps inside, and the door closes. The cops chase after the jet but it has gained to much speed it starts to take flight but C.J. keeps it close to the ground as he fly’s over the ocean toward Liberty. “C.J. why you flying so low?”

“If we stay low they can’t pick us up on radar.”

“Smart move.” Tommy pats him on the back then walks to the back of the jet sitting by Claude, and Lav.

“Just like Con air.” Said Lav.

“Like what?”

“Good work son.” Said Jay sitting in the co-pilot seat. “I guess I’m moving to Liberty.”

“Do you know anything about Grove Street, and what’s been happening there?” Asked C.J.

“Yeah, Yeah I know a little, I’m from L.S. I grew up Glen Park but I’m no baller. But the grove street family does don’t have much it’s not the place to be. You know what I’m saying”

“Damn.” Carl cursed.

Soon after the pane landed back at Francis International in Liberty Tommy examines the group he’s with. “Alright what’s the deal with you two now.”

They walk to the parking lot of the airport. “We’ll I’m going to tell ActionMax the good news, and you four can do whatever you guys want. Peace.” Jay gets into a blue Banshee then speed off.

“I’m free! HA HA!” Lav just runs off into the distance happily.

“Well we sure do great things for the community.” Tommy looks at Claude who just shrugs, he then looks at Carl. “Something wrong man?”

“Yeah my hood is fucked up again.”

“Well don’t worry man once we do these things for that prick ActionMax than we’ll be home, and everything will be the same.” Tommy gets in their Cartel Cruiser. C.J. and Claude follow hop in.

The car is started with the radio on Game FM. “Yeah you’re listening to game…” The station becomes full of static as it seems like it is changing frequencies.

“What’s going on with this thing?”

The static clears then and to Carl’s fear familiar voice comes through. “Carl! Carl! I can see you.”

“No, no way man how cans that be?” Tommy looks at C.J funny. “How did he find me?”

“I told you Carl you can’t hide from me!”


Chapter 10: The Agent: Carl’s Night.

“Carl Remember what I told you I will always be watching, and listening! You thought you could give me the slip, you had me for the last 13 years but I’ve found you.” Mike Toreno’s voice continues through the radio.

“Who the fuck is that?” Asked Tommy.

“Its bad news!” Carl jumps out of the cruiser.

“And don’t think I don’t know about you Vercetti you, and your drug operation’s in Florida.” Tommy also freaked out jumps out of the cruiser leavening Claude sitting in the back. “And you in the back! Well I really don’t know you but you’re on my list now.” Claude gets out walking over to Carl, and Tommy.

“Who is this guy Carl, and how does he know my name?”

“He’s a government agent.” Explained C.J. “Knowing him there’s some shit that he wants me to clean up.”

“Exactly!” Toreno is standing in the bed of the Cartel Cruiser, he looks exactly the same as he did in the early 90’s dressed the same to. “Where ya been Carl.”

“Damn man I thought you said you would stop bothering me.”

“Yeah but what would this country be like if the government kept its word.” Toreno jumps out of the truck. “Quite a crew you got here Carl working with thee Tommy Vercetti.”

“Listen pal I don’t know who you are but we don’t have to do shit for you or the government.”

“Uh ok but its not you I want I just want Carl here for a job that’s if he wants to.”

“What?” Carl says confused. “You’re giving me the option?”

“Of course.” Toreno walks over to Carl putting his arm around his shoulder. “But then he would never hear the info I have on his brother sweet.”

“What. You know what’s happened to sweet?” Asked Carl.

“Yeah since for some reason you don’t know I will inform you but of course you have to do a little favor for me.”

“Don’t do it C.J!” Tommy chimes in. “This guys trouble.”

C.J. thinks for a second. “Sorry homies but I need to find out what happened to my bro.”

“Good choices now let’s go.” A black Sentinel with the license plate number ‘OMEGA’ pulls up Toreno, and C.J. get in the back, and it pulls away.

Tommy looks at Claude. “Can you believe that prick? Now what?”

Four hours later Carl is sitting in the driver’s seat of the black sentinel sleeping as it is parked on the first floor of the multi-story car park on Staunton Island. Toreno walks up to the drivers side door opening it up then slamming it as hard as he could waking up C.J. “Ahh! Shit Toreno!”

“Alright enough sleep. Have you ever heard the expression you can sleep when you’re dead?”

“That’s going to come true with me working for you.” Carl rolls down the window. “What’s this job already man, I’ve just been sitting here for hours.”



“Yes you’re going to be the bait.” Toreno says with an evil smile.

“I hate this!”

“There’s a hit man out on me, can you believe that someone has the balls to put a hit on me. Those dictators overseas have had enough of me it seems. And before you complain they want to wipe out anyone who ever has been associated with me, and that includes you.”

“This guy’s after me to?”

“Yes. You’re the lucky one who’s going to kill him.”

“Lucky me.” C.J. rolls his eyes. “How will I know when this hit man is on to me?”

“Believe me Carl you’ll know. Drive around in my car, draw him out, and do your job. Good luck.” Toreno walks away from the car.

“Damn man.” C.J. rubs his eyes looks up to see Toreno has disappeared. “How does he do that?” With a sigh C.J. starts the car. “Oh well here goes nothing.” He pulls the car out of the garage toward the Callahan Bridge, which C.J. takes to Portland. He drives through China Town to the road on the outskirts of Portland passing Mr. Wong’s Launderette.

Suddenly an orange Monster Truck speeds up behind Carl. “You got to be kidding me!” He speeds up quickly as the Monster approaches to crush his car. C.J turns into the Redlight District, then speeds through Hepburn Heights, and into Harwood driving down to the car crusher. He gets out of the Sentinel, and looks around. “Woo I lost him. For now.” C.J. pops the trunk. “Did Toreno leave me any presents? Yes.” He takes an AK-47 out the trunk. “I like to see that Monster come at me again!”

To Car’s surprise the Monster fly’s off the road down to the crusher, C.J. jumps out of the way just in time as it lands on the sentinel crushing it. The Monster drives, and turns around preparing to run over C.J. He raises the AK, and fires away most of the clip into the front of the Truck stopping it. “Yeah!” The door of the Monster opens, and a large man jumps out. He is the size of C.J. with long brown hair, he is dressed like a cowboy, with an eye patch over his left eye. C.J. starts to laugh. “Oh I didn’t a sheriff was after me.”

“The names Randy Bako.” He says with a Russian accent. “Carl Johnson. You have worked for Mike Toreno. Now I will kill you.”

“I don’t think so.” Carl fires at the large Russian’s chest hitting him but he just absorbs the bullets. “What the hell?”

“Body armor comrade”

“Ok.” Carl raises the rifle to take a head shot but the gun doesn’t fire. “Shit!”

“Your ass is mine.”

“Your one of those guys who’s been to prison right.” Randy is angry he raises his hand showing his weapon. “Is that a grenade launcher?”

“Yes it is!”

Carl acts quickly as Randy fires a grenade at him jumping to the side he gets away from the explosion but the shockwave catches him throwing him hard into an old Moonbeam. “Ugh. Damn.” He lies rubbing his head.

The large Russian stands over Carl now holding a desert eagle aimed at his head. “Goodnight.”

C.J. stares down the barrel of the gun speechless, he flinches as a gunshot rings out. Carl opens his eyes realizing he is still alive, he looks up at the Russian whose head has been blown off. Blood squirts from the top right before the body falls on its back. “What now.” C.J. stands up confused. Claude walks up from behind him holding a sniper rifle, he taps on Carl’s shoulder startling him. “Claude what the? Was that you that got him?” Claude nods. “Thanks man that was some shot. But where the hell did you come from?” Claude just points over his shoulder. “Whatever man I’m glad you came. Hey where’s Tommy?” He shrugs.

“Good work guys.” Toreno has been standing behind them. “Carl this quiet guy is great, I’m going to keep my eye on you.”

“Yo Toreno I did my part now give me the info on my bro!”

“Yes for once your right Carl I do need to tell you what happened.” Toreno looks uneasily. “Your brother ‘Sweet’ is dead.”


“After you ‘disappeared’ Sweet blamed Salvatore Leone, and the MAFIA. He wasn’t too bright, he attempted to take them on the Mob head on. Your buddy’s Cesar and Woozie wouldn’t support him. He want to Las Venturas with only a few of you ‘boy’s’ from Grove Street. He didn’t stand a chance.”

“What the Fuck Toreno you make me do all that to hear that!” Claude is holding C.J. back.

“Calm down Carl.”

A limousine drives down the road, and pulls up next to the three men, ActionMax steps out of the back. “Everyone calm down!”

“You picked the right time to show yourself mother fucker!” Carl yells as Claude still holds him back.

“Don’t worry C.J. when I send you back that will be prevented.”

“We better get sent back soon or I’m gona!” He didn’t continue the threat.

“Fido or Claude. Why don’t you go, and bring C.J. back to your mansion I need to talk with our friend Mike Toreno here.” Claude nods escorting an angry C.J. up the hill to a red Cheetah. ActionMax gives his attention to Toreno. “Toreno! I thought I paid you, and your government pals off to stay away from my affairs.”

“Yes you might have but you need to remember C.J. was mine first.”

“He’s working for me now so stay away.”

“Sure thing kid.” Said Toreno with a smirk. “Now don’t go thinking your untouchable we can get to you too.” ActionMax stands uninitiated. “I control Carl, he’s my bitch.”


Toreno looks at his watch. “Woops time to go. I’ll see you around ActionMax.”

Toreno turns around to get in the moonbeam, there is a ‘Kick Me’ sign taped on his back as he gets in then drives away. “Ha, ha I love getting the last laugh.”

Meanwhile Claude has arrived at the mansion with a much calmer Carl. “Damn man that is a nice ride where the hell did you get it?” Claude doesn’t answer he points up the driveway. Tommy is lying there out cold on his back. “Tommy.” They run up to him as he starts to regain consciousness, he looks beat up. “Tommy man what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh my Fucking head.” Is his only response.

ActionMax sits in his office at his desk with a smug look on his face. “Hello there my loyal fans. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was more Action, and Drama than comedy. But I promise next chapter will be funnier, and will give you the answers I bet you’re looking for right now. Such as what happened to Tommy, and what Claude was up to. But in a few days I will be on vacation in Florida for spring break.”

Tommy burst into the room. “Florida. Are you going to Vice City?”


“Don’t lie to me Actionmax. I don’t want you messing around with my assets down there.”

“No relax.” He gets his attention back to the reviewers. “I just wanted to say that I might post one more chapter up before I leave but I’ll only be gone for a week so if this isn’t updated in a while please do not panic.”

Tommy cuts in. “You better hurry back they want to find out what the fuck has happened to me.”

“Yes they will. But right now I want to thank Kity Gaby, Lordmasterkris, and DoWriter12 for continuing support of the fic. Plus the new comers I see my heart is black, and Red County State trooper. Peace out.”

Chapter 11: Back to the Bar: Tommy’s Night.

After Toreno, and C.J. leave in the Black Sentinel:

Tommy looks at Claude. “Can you believe that prick? Now what?” Claude is distracted by a red cheetah parked a few feet from them. “You know what forget both of you! I’m going to find way out of Liberty.”

Claude waves him off as if saying ‘whatever before he walks toward the cheetah.

Tommy walks over to a payphone next to the airport in an attempt to contact his boys in Vice City. “Let’s try this again, Operator Vice City.” Tommy is connected to his mansion. “Mario! Thank god I got through” There is a pause. “It’s Tommy Vercetti! I know it’s been 19 years. No I don’t care about your sister right now you need to come get me! Does the copter still work? Good, I’m in…”

“Your call has been disconnected.” The operator cuts in.

“Damn!” Tommy slams the phone down. “We’ll I’m going back to the bar.”

Max Payne sits at the diner in Chinatown sipping on coffee with a folder consisting of info, and pictures that have to do with his case. Max is after three men who have massive criminal backgrounds, two who disappeared many years ago suddenly reappearing in Liberty all working together. According to a source in the Leone Mafia the three men have gotten on the bad side of the Mob which wasn’t smart Max knew. He examined the pictures one a picture of a mystery man some call the Reaper but is also known as Fido, which causes Max to raise am eyebrow to them.

He moves on to a picture of Carl ‘C.J.’ Johnson, who Max had heard of a little but not much because of Carl being on the west coast. Then a picture of the one he was the most familiar with Tommy Vercetti, the crime lord from Vice City. But this troubled Max, how could Vercetti still be causing problems himself these days he would be over 50 by now. Max then moved on to the final photo Joey Leone son of the late Don Salvator Leone. Since he was the only one Max knew the location of he would question him first. But it would be tough though, he was “like a ref going in the middle of two boxers to break them up who are swinging violently. Large, Hard swin.”

“You okay honey?” Max looks up to an older female waitress. “Who are you talking to?”

“No one!” Max looks disturbed, he grabs his stuff then runs out of the diner.

“Hey he forgot to pay!”

“Salvator Leone’s Gentlemen’s club.” Max pulls up in his car parking next to a Mafia Sentinel. He walks up to the club two Mafia guards standing in front of him.

“What do you want pal?”

“Detective Payne.” He shows them his badge. “I just for a word with Joey Leone.”

“He’s not seeing anybody right now especially cops.”

“Fellas the detective just wants to talk.” Joey stands at the top of the steps. “Detective Payne? The Max Payne you are welcome into my club.” Joey leads him inside going to the bar. “Liberty must really need help bringing you guys all the way from New York. Would you like a drink detective?”

“No thank you.” Max could feel Joey trying to make friendly with him. “You seem to have no problem with a cop entering your territory.”

“No problem at all.” He said with a smirk. “They think I’m a gangster or something. Just because they suspected my father of being one, which was bullshit! Like I’ve said before I’m just a car guy. Except now I just inherited all my fathers stuff. Ya know it’s fucked up.”

Max is speechless after Joey’s rampage. “Okay. I wanted to ask you if you have ever met these three men I am after.” He shows him the pictures of the Three Kings.

“Only this guy. Carl Johnson he worked with me in my garage years ago but I haven’t seen him since.”

Max looked around the room knowing he couldn’t do anything else. “Thanks for your time Mr. Leone.”

“No problem. Good luck with your case detective Payne.”

Max walks back to his car. ‘That was as useful as male nipples.’ He stops shaking off that last thought.

Meanwhile Tommy has returned to the bar in the Red Light District from the night of the riot. He is once again drunk. “Hey bartender give me, me another!”

The big bartender hesitates then gives him another beer. “This is your last buddy you’ve been here for hours.”

“Hey I’ll tell you when I’m done mister!” He yells angrily, the bartender walks away shaking his head. “Wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell. Oh well I need to drain the dragon. I’ll be back.” He lets out a large burp then stumbles to the men’s room. He walks in going for the stall, which he immediately regrets. “What the Hell!”

“Hey man what the Fuck! I see you American’s don’t knock.” A man with British accent yells sitting on the toilet. It is Maccer (from GTA: SA) doing the inappropriate thing he does wherever he wants. “Do you mind?”

“That’s fucked up man!” Tommy looks away in disgust. “I’ll just use the girl’s room.”

“Yeah you should ya wanka, oooh yeas c’mon.”

“Liberty is messed up.”

Out in the bar the bartender is cleaning a few glasses in peace until he hears a crack. He looks to see eggs have been thrown at his brand new window, which causes anger to shoot right through the man. “Damn kids!” He reaches under the bar this time pulling out bazooka. “These kids are dead.” He runs out of the bar.

Tommy exits the bathroom walking back into the bar. “I’m back and thirsty for more.” He sits down drinking the beer again not even noticing that the bartender has left.

The door of the bar opens, and five men walk into the bar but Tommy still doesn’t notice anything besides his beer. “Tommy Vercetti.” Tommy spins to face who has called his name but ends up spinning off the chair landing on his face he looks up to see Luigi, his partner Mick, and Nick along with two Mafia soldiers. “The Legendary Tommy Vercetti flat on his face huh. Do you recognize me?”

Tommy stands up surprised. “Luigi? Holy shit Luigi Goterelli? Last time I saw you where a younger guy you used to spit shine our shoes when the Forelli’s and Leone’s would have meeting shit like that.”

Luigi is pissed. “Look here Vercetti I’m in no mood for bullshit! One of my girls was killed tonight so I’m not in a good mood.”

“You should know Vercetti that the Leone’s and Forelli’s haven’t seen eye to eye in a long time, not since you killed 11 of our guys in the 70’s.” Nick cuts in.

“Oh shit that’s not good for me.” Tommy realizes. “Hey.” He says with a long pause. “How did you guys find me?”

“I’m right across the street!” Luigi points annoyed. “Let’s make this short. If you help us Vercetti then the Don Joey Leone is willing to forgive your crimes against us if you just take care of your two friends.”

“Think about it with them or live join us.” Said Nick. “We know about your vendetta against Sony Forelli, and how they screwed you.”

Tommy thought about this. “Uh what if I was to say no?”

“Then Mick.” With a snap of his fingers Mick stepped forward. Tommy could see what was coming, and with out a second though he swung at the big man but he caught his fist with no effort.

“Shit.” Mick punches Tommy in the chest with the other hand sending him flying through a table. Coughing as he sits up.

Nick stands over him with a 9mm aimed at his head. “Get up.” Tommy does as he’s told. “I’m not going to kill you now Vercetti. When I do I want you to be sober, at your best. But for now think about our offer.” He puts a card in a pocket in Tommy’s shirt. “And get a new shirt.”

“Hey.” Before Tommy can finish Mick slams a chair over his head knocking him out cold.

“You two.” Luigi calls the two soldiers. “Take this guy back to the Cartel place okay. We’ll give him time to make his choice.”

An hour later.

Claude has arrived at the mansion with a much calmer Carl. “Damn man that is a nice ride where the hell did you get it?” Claude doesn’t answer he points up the driveway. Tommy is lying there out cold on his back. “Tommy.” They run up to him as he starts to regain consciousness, he looks beat up. “Tommy man what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh my Fucking head.” Is his only response.

Chapter 12: Pain or Pleasure: Claude’s Night.

After Toreno, and C.J. leave in the Black Sentinel:

Tommy looks at Claude. “Can you believe that prick? Now what?” Claude is distracted by a red cheetah parked a few feet from them. “You know what forget both of you! I’m going to find way out of Liberty.”

Claude waves him off as if saying ‘whatever’ before he walks toward the cheetah admiring its beauty. With his fingers crossed he pulled on the handle hoping it would open easily. Satisfaction filled Claude as he opened the door, the cheetah was now his ‘morons’ he though, these people who don’t lock their doors in this city. He went down to hotwire the car. A smirk crossed his face as he heard the purr of the engine. ‘What to do?’ He thought. He hasn’t had time to do the things he liked lately with the ActionMax guy, and being around Carl, and Tommy this was his night to rule Liberty Again.

He returned to Portland, his old stomping grounds, what to do first. He rode down to the docks spotting a prostitute, it was time for some action.

40 minutes later…

The Cheetah rocks back and forth under the Callahan Bridge by the diner. It starts to rock faster showing its close to the end, then suddenly the prostate leaves the car then starts to walk away counting the money she took. Claude jumps out of the car with a baseball bat running behind the prostitute to beat her with the bat. After she is killed, beaten into a bloody pulp Claude picks up the money getting it back.

Hours later…

Ok Claude was now bored, he couldn’t think of anything else to do standing across from the hospital with his cheetah parked in the alley. He had already dealt with the prostitute, grabbed a bite to eat at Greasy Joes Diner, killed a pizza delivery guy stealing his scooter, throwing the pizza’s on police cars at the station, went to a strip club, stole a fire truck, starting fires so he could put them out with the fire truck, and fucked with the triads. But now he was running out of ideas. A light bulb popped up over his head, this would be funny.

He dumps the fish heads he stole from the triads in a box with a small remote bomb, he writes the address to send them to ActionMax at Love Media. He doesn’t want to kill Action Max, but mess up his office. He crosses the street with the box walking toward a mailbox when an orange Monster runs him over the box is sent flying off into the distance. Claude lies on the ground ‘wasted.’

A paramedic runs out of the hospital to Claude, and starts pounding on his chest in an attempt to fix him up. “Breathe dam-it!” The paramedic is successful, and brings Claude back to life. The paramedic walks back to the hospital. “Nine more miracles and I’ll be a saint.”

Claude stands up with one thing on his mind now. Revenge. He will find that truck, and its owner to make them pay. He runs to the cheetah wanting to stay on the hot trail.

After searching Claude has managed to find the culprit in Harwood thanks to the sounds of gunfire. He stands at the top of a hill watching a battle unfold the man in monster truck looking like a cowboy vs. Carl who is in trouble as he has just been thrown against a van by an explosion. Claude reaches into the cheetah pulling out a sniper rifle preparing it to be fired.

The large Russian stands over Carl now holding a desert eagle aimed at his head. “Goodnight.”

C.J. stares down the barrel of the gun speechless, he flinches as a gunshot rings out. Carl opens his eyes realizing he is still alive, he looks up at the Russian whose head has been blown off. Blood squirts from the top right before the body falls on its back. “What now.” C.J. stands up confused. Claude walks up from behind him holding a sniper rifle, he taps on Carl’s shoulder startling him. “Claude what the? Was that you that got him?” Claude nods. “Thanks man that was some shot. But where the hell did you come from?” Claude just points over his shoulder. “Whatever man I’m glad you came. Hey where’s Tommy?” He shrugs.

“Good work guys.” Toreno has been standing behind them. “Carl this quiet guy is great, I’m going to keep my eye on you.” ‘Oh Shit’ is what Claude thinks listening to Toreno, and Carl arguing. Carl goes for Toreno but for some reason Claude holds him back, and does the same as ActionMax arrives.

“Fido or Claude. Why don’t you go, and bring C.J. back to your mansion I need to talk with our friend Mike Toreno here.” Claude nods escorting an angry C.J. up the hill to his red Cheetah. On the way back to the mansion Carl was mad going on about his brother, and Grove Street. Claude was just mad he wasn’t able to mail that box of fish heads.

Claude has arrived at the mansion with a much calmer Carl. “Damn man that is a nice ride where the hell did you get it?” Claude doesn’t answer he points up the driveway. Tommy is lying there out cold on his back. “Tommy.” They run up to him as he starts to regain consciousness, he looks beat up. “Tommy man what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh my Fucking head.” Is his only response.

Chapter 13: Day After.

“Oh man he’s fucked up.” Said Carl looking at Tommy. “I think he’s wasted to.”

“No mommy I didn’t mean to break the kid’s arm he was being a prick.” Tommy muttered only half conscious.

“Yeah.” C.J. and Claude nodded. “Okay let’s just get him inside, we’ll deal with him tomorrow. Grab his legs.” The two men lifted Tommy up then started walking toward the mansion.

It is morning time in Liberty, and Max has returned to the LCPD station in Portland going over some info on Salvator Leone’s death. How the mystery man is the number one suspect as he is for most crimes in Liberty. Suddenly another officer walks into the station holding a box. “Hey guys I found this mysterious box down the street, I though I should bring it here in case it was dangerous.”

“What?” Chief Anderson walks into the room. “Get that box outa here, I don’t want you idiots messing around get back to work. Payne Come follow me.”

Max could feel the chief had something urgent to tell him urgent like, urgent as. Yeah. “Am I running out of similes, and metaphors?”

“Payne Follow me its important.”

“Oh right.” Max snaps out of it walking toward the chief’s office.

“Ah forget Anderson lets guess what’s inside.” All of the officers agree gathering around the box.

“Payne we’ve received calls of an arsonist currently at large in Staunton Island. I want you after this guy because he escaped from the custody of Las Venturas P.D. in San Andreas. Reports are that is was the three guys your after that busted him out.” Anderson takes a big bite of a doughnut. “Well what are you waiting for Payne go look for him!”

Chunks of doughnut hit Max in the face. “Yes Sir.”

Before Max Leaves the office a small explosion is heard outside. “What the Fuck was that.” Anderson hurries to the door, Max takes out his berretta following the chief, this seemed a bit familiar to him. Anderson opens the door to see the station is covered in slimy fish heads officers scattered across the room covered in what was in the Box. “Payne before you go I have one more order.”

“What?” Asked Max shocked looking around the room.

“Shoot me.”

Later in the day Tommy wakes in a bed feeling like had been hit by a truck. “Fuck me.” He sits up slowly then reaches into his front pocket taking out the card Nick placed there the night before. He looked at it thinking of what he should do then finally crumbling it up throwing it across the room. “I need to find those two morons, and some painkillers.”

Outside Claude walks over to C.J. who has just put a basketball hoop on the mansion. “Yeah. I haven’t had time to play basketball in a while. You wanna play me Claude?” Claude just shrugs standing in between C.J. and the basket.

“What the hell are you two doing?” They look to see Tommy walking out the front door covering his eyes from the light.

“We were about to play basketball.” Said C.J. holding up a ball.

“What now after I got the shit beat out of me. Besides Claude I bet he’ll whip you’re in basketball.”

“Oh what because I’m black you think I’m a great player. Let’s go Claude!” Carl starts dribbling the ball he crosses up Claude getting past him, he then jumps up, and does a rock the cradle in Michael Jordan fashion tongue sticking out and all. “Boom! How you like that?” He taunts. Claude takes out a 9mm shooting the basketball a few times making it just a piece of rubber. “Damn man I didn’t think you where that bad of a sport.”

“What the hell is the matter with you two?” Tommy asks angrily. “You know what forget it I feel like shit right now I’m going back to bed. What did I do wrong in a past life?”

At Salvartor’s Gentlemen’s Club Joey sits in his father’s old chair as Nick Reo enters the room. “We gave Vercetti the message but I doubt he’ll take it.”

“Your right.” Said Joey sounding as if was no big deal. “But we may have a bigger problem with this Max Payne snooping around here.”

“No shit Max Payne from NYC? What was he looking for?”

“He was looking for a connection between us and those three Fuck-ups. If he wants them we should get them together maybe our problems will take care of each other.” Joey smirks evilly. Suddenly a phone rings, Joey takes a cell phone out of his pocket. He takes one look of who the caller is causing him to scream like a girl dropping the phone, and running out of the room as fast as he can.

Nick picks up the ringing phone to see who is calling, the contact lighting up the phone reads ‘Misty.’ Nick shakes his head. “This kids bigger problems than Payne.”

Chapter 14: Fire with Fire.

Staunton Island, the bustling commercial district of Liberty City currently under chaos. Police have surrounded the whole Pan-Lantic construction site trapping the arsonist inside but not yet captured. Max pulls up by the site walking up to an officer by the gate. “Detective Payne.” He flashes his badge. “What’s the situation?”

“We got ourselves a maniac trapped in there somewhere.”

“The arsonist from Las Venturas?”

“Yeah. But they don’t want anyone going in yet this guy is dangerous alone he’s already killed two good officers, and injured many others. There probably going to use a sniper to get this guy if they can spot him.”

“Damn.” Max cursed. “It might be dangerous, even stupid but I needed this guy alive to help me crack the case.”

“Who are you talking to buddy?” Asked the officer looking around.

“I need to get in there.”

The officer stands in front of Max. “Sorry pal I can’t let you enter its too dangerous.”

Max reaches into his jacket pocket taking out a glazed doughnut showing the officer who licks his lips. “Here boy who wants the doughnut.” He tosses it making the officer chase it. “They sure do love there doughnuts here.”

Max sneaks into the construction site gripping his 9mm as he has now entered a dangerous game of hide, and seek. He walks close to the building, which is still being built. Max knows he has the disadvantage he wants this guy alive, and this guy will kill Max with no hesitation, no doubt. “Hello! Little piggy.” A voice echoes. Max looks around unsure where the voice has come from. “A good fight just what I’ve been waiting for.” Max turns to see Lav holding a flame thrower. “Boo.”

Max reacts quickly jumping to the side as a stream of fire is shot from the flame thrower. “Max rolls to the side, and aims his gun at the psychotic Lav. “NYPD! I mean LCPD freeze.”

“I prefer to burn baby!” Lav takes another shot with the flame thrower. Time seems to slow down to Max as the flame comes at him. He rolls to the side barley getting out of the way. When settled again Max fires a shot hitting Lav’s weapon causing him to drop it. “Damn nice shot.”

“Get on your hands, and knees.” Max orders as he stands up.

“Sure thing.” Lav does what he is told. “Don’t bother with the whole thing I know the drill.” He says as Max cuffs him. “This is arrest number…hmm, I think sixty two. Yeah.”

“Can it.” Max stands him up. “Now you’re going to the station to answer some questions.”

“Oh great I always did like trivia.”

“Right.” Max realizes how crazy this guy is.

Back at the Cartel Mansion. Carl and Claude play Madden 05 for PS2 on a big screen TV as Tommy sleeps. Claude is the Liberty City Cocks as Carl is the Sand Andreas 69ers, they are playing a close competitive game. “You’re going down Claude.” The game is tied, and Carl’s team is driving downfield.

Tommy has awoken again, and heads to the noise the game is making. “Are you two idiots serious?”

“What’s up your ass Tommy?” Asked Carl not looking away from the game. “You’ve been in a very bad mood lately.”

“Because I got the shit kicked out of me last night!”

“Oh yeah.” C.J. continues to concentrate he throws a pass scoring a touchdown winning the game in the last seconds. “Yeah I win!” Claude takes out his 9mm shooting the TV. “Damn Claude, man you can’t just shoot something every time you lose.” Claude just shrugs.

“Are you two done?” Tommy cuts in. Carl drops the controller, Claude puts his gun away. “Now Listen up the Mafia is after us.” He says bluntly. “They want us dead. They made an offer with me to kill you two, which I’m thinking I might accept you pricks! But they would have killed me too even if I accepted, plus I need you two to get home.”

“You know ya love us man.” Teased C.J. “But what do you think we should do about the Leone’s I’m assuming.”

“Yeah we all managed to piss them off somehow.” Said Tommy. “Of course were going to fuck them up.”

Claude nods. “Yeah were game.”

“Good.” Tommy looks around awkwardly. “I just need a plan.”

Back at the precinct Max finish paperwork on Lav’s arrest. There are janitors all over the station cleaning the fish heads from the morning events. Anderson approaches Max. “Alright Payne the maniac is ready for questioning.”

“Alright.” Max stands up. “This should be tough.”

“Yeah getting an answer from a psycho is never easy.”

Max walks into the interrogation room ready to work on Lav. “Oh hello Mr. Payne. I envy your name.”

“Funny I’ve heard that before.” Max sits down at the table across from Lav. “Now I need som…”

“Ok fine these three guys busted me out and there loose here in Liberty.” Lav says quickly.


“Isn’t that what you wanted to hear?” He asked seriously Max couldn’t believe that it was that easy. “Yeah I think their staying somewhere in Shoreside Vale where the Cartel used to stay.”

Max writes all the info on a pad of paper. “Who’s their boss? Who wanted to free you?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not you’ve told me everything else already?”

“I don’t think ActionMax would be happy giving his name away.”

“ActionMax?” Max says puzzled.

Lav’ realizes his mistake. “DO!”

“Thanks that will be all. For now.” Max gets up, and leaves the room. “You can take him.” He tells another officer outside. Crooks with code names, and henchmen not the type of thing Max wanted to get into, but he was in far enough he didn’t want to turn back now.

Chapter 15: Collision Course.

The next day at the Cartel Mansion:

“What’s this?” Claude hands Tommy a note, which Tommy reads. “You know a guy who can give us some answers in Portland?” Claude nods. “Well I don’t have anything else better so I guess we should.”

“Hey guys what’s up?” Asked Carl walking up to them.

“Claude thinks we should go to Portland, he knows a guy that can help us with the Leone’s.”

“Yeah.” Carl Agrees. “I got to get them man. For my bro.”

Outside across from the mansion a man watches as the Three Kings leave cramming into a red cheetah. Max Payne starts his car to follow the three dangerous men. Going after these three was what he wanted he knew more about this trio than the mystery man ‘ActionMax’. But he would still have to be cautious these were three of the most dangerous men in American History.

The Cheetah pulls up to 8-Ball’s garage in Harwood. “This guy can help us?” Asked Tommy.

“This place looks run down.” Added Carl.

Claude just walks to the main door, and knocks on it. 8-Ball answers the door. “Hello Mi… Oh my main man what’s up I thought you were someone else. Who are these guys?”

“My names Tommy Vercetti and this is Carl Johnson.”

“But yall call me C.J.”

“Right.” Tommy sighs. “Now Claude tells us, well actually he writes that you can give us some information on what the Leone’s move against us will be. Mr?”

“The names 8-Ball and I got what you need!”

Tommy, and Carl attempt to hide there amusement. “8-Ball?”

“Yeah I know, my daddy liked to play pool.” 8-Ball looks around. “Alright come in hurry you three are marked men here in Portland.” They enter the house/shop, and sit at a table as 8-Ball tells them what he can. “Joey is paying crooked cops or whoever, and calling everyone to liberty. His friends in San Andreas, and even New York. Joey’s starting a war against you.”

“New York?” Tommy said confused. “Why would they come here for us?”

“You three are not the only one’s Leone is after right now.”


“There’s a cop.” 8-Ball looks at the three who don’t seem fazed. “But not just any cop. It’s Max Payne.” Tommy, and C.J. don’t seem fazed but the name has caught the attention of Claude. He had heard many stories about the cop and the names he had taken down. Claude didn’t fear the Payne but he knew a confrontation with him wouldn’t be good for his survival. “This guy ain’t a joke so just watch for him.” Suddenly the doorbell rings. “Alright fellas that’s all I got for you now so watch your backs.” The Three men stand up, and head for the door. “Good to see you Claude.” He gives him a pound.

“Thanks for you help 8-Ball.” Tommy opens the door.

Misty stands in front of them. “Hey where’s 8-Ball?”

“Right here baby.”

She runs, and hugs him as Tommy, Carl, and Claude walk to the cheetah. “Joey never had time for me anymore so you’re my number 1 now.”

“Yeah that’s what I like to hear.”

She walks further into the house. “I can’t wait.”

8-Ball slowly shuts the door. “You know what they say. Once you go Black.”

In the Cheetah, Tommy drives Carl has shotgun, and Claude sits in the back reading a newspaper. “Man this is fucking insane.” Tommy rants. “We need to get our guns, and get ready to blow their balls off!”

Carl is distracted looking back at Claude reading the news paper. “Hey Claude can I read the paper.” Claude ignores him. “Man you’ve been reading it all day I want to read it.” Claude still ignores him. “Tommy!” Carl whines. “Yo he’s not sharing the paper.”

Tommy slams on the breaks causing cars behind them to do the same making them crash into each other. “What is your pricks problem?” He snatches the paper from Claude, and gives it to Carl. “Is everything okay now?” He says calmer.

Claude shrugs then takes out a book. C.J. opens the paper. “Yes thank you.” Tommy starts moving again. C.J. reads the newspaper, an article catches his attention. “Shit! Tommy we need to go to Bush stadium in Staunton!”

“For what?”

“I need to visit an old friend.” Carl shows Tommy the article reading. ‘OG Loc to Perform as Bush stadium tonight.’

OG Loc prepares to go out on stage in a matter of minutes. “There’s no way I’m going out there Kent!” He argues on a cell phone to his agent Kent Paul. “I’ll get killed tonight.”

“Loc buddy Ol’ pal. Paulo wouldn’t send you anywhere dangerous.”

“You’re twisted! I may be GANSTA! But in Liberty there’s a 98 chance of a rap show gettin’ shot up, and da rapper dead!”

Paul sighs. “Listen your on high demand in Liberty where going to make money off it. Now don’t worry, and put on a good show. I’ll call you later.” He hangs up.

“Paul! Mother fucker!” Loc picks up a bullet-proof vest, and puts it on. “I can’t die.”

ActionMax, and Lazlow are discussing something as they approach OG Loc. “I don’t know how you convinced me to host this stupid show anyways. I don’t even know rap I’m an 80’s rocker.”

“Don’t worry Lazlow you’ll be fine.” Replied ActionMax. “Ah OG Loc I’m glad you decided to come here to Liberty. I’m happy to sponsor your show.”

“Uh is security ready?”

“Yes all around the stadium.” They go to the center of the stage which is in the left end zone of the stadium. Fans have packed in, and start to cheer as they see Loc on stage.

“All right I’m ready to rip his up.” Loc said felling better.

“Hey Jeffrey!” He turns to see C.J. followed by Tommy, and Claude. “You made it after all. Now what happened to Mad Dog?”

“What C.J!”

“O god I wished I wouldn’t run into these guys again.” Lazlow said to himself.

“My boys.” Said ActionMax. His security guards get closer to him. “What brings you here?”

“I need to have a little talk with Jeffery here.”

“It’s OG Loc Carl.” He replied angrily. “And Mad Dog is dead. After you suddenly disappeared he went back to the yay, and died of an OD. I’ve been on top ever since. Chea!”

“Fuck man! You turned your back on the hood.”

“Carl now guys lets calm down, and let Loc perform I have lots of money riding on this show.”

“Ok everyone freeze.” They look to see Max standing on the other side of the stage with his 9mm aimed, and ready. “You’re under arrest.”

Chapter 16: Common Enemy: Part 1.

Claude was the only one to react to Max taking out his 9mm returning the favor aiming his right at Max. ActionMax decided to take matters into his own hands. “Wow Max Payne the living legend.” Max didn’t flinch keeping an eye on Claude giving Tommy, and Carl quick glances. People from the crowd start running for the exits. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding… Hey!” One of ActionMax’s security guards grabs him, and puts a gun to his head. “What the hell?”

“Oh shit.” Tommy realizes what’s going on.

Lazlow and OG Loc are frozen in fear standing still. “We don’t work for you anymore. Joey Leone pays us now.”

“This sucks.” ActionMax said nonchalant.

A uniformed officer stands next to ActionMax’s turncoat security guards. “Glad you’re here the situation was getting out of hand.” Max is relived.

“I don’t know Payne it seems your helping these wanted criminals.” The officer said with a smirk.

“Fuck. Leone, he must have paid them off like 8-Ball said.” C.J. said reaching for his Uzi.

Nick Reo appears next to ActionMax. “You should have accepted our deal Vercetti.”

“Fuck you!”

“Let’s bring Mr. ActionMax here to the Gentlemen’s club, and kill these six.” The guards follow nick out. Then Mafia henchmen start to charge onto the stage.

“Woo! Hold up.” OG Loc holds his hands in front of him. “I’m part of these guys.”

The mobsters open fire Max, Claude, and Lazlow jump behind a large speaker as Carl, Tommy, and Loc jump off stage ducking underneath the gunfire. Lazlow sits in between Max and Claude as they are pinned down by the gun fire. Max, and Claude look at each other but attempt to aim their weapons at each other but Lazlow grabs both their arms. “Wait! Don’t shoot at each other, you two need to work together to get us out of here alive. There the bad guys, you have a common Enemy.”

The two men from opposite sides of the law look at each other but reluctantly give each other a nod. “Enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Max looks around. “We need some help here. Where did your friends go?”

A mule speeds toward the stage then does a 180 making the rear face the stage. C.J. stands in the open back holding his dueling Uzi’s. “C’mon this way.” He opens fire on the Mobsters. Max and Claude grab onto Lazlow making a run for the truck. The jump in the back then Carl shuts the door. “Go!” Tommy in the driver’s seat puts his foot to the floor speeding the truck through an entrance for vehicles getting them out of there away from the barrage of Mafia bullets.

Max stands up in the back of the trunk looking down the barrel of Carl’s gun. “Not a smart move joining us. I don’t like cops.” Max isn’t fazed showing no fear. Claude looks on unsure what to do when the truck comes to a stop. Tommy has parked the truck in an alley by the multi-story car park.

Tommy opens the back. “What the fuck! Why is the cop with us?”

“Because Joey Leone wants us all dead even these guys.” Max points to Loc, and Lazlow.

“What, why me?” Loc whines.

“Shut up.” Everyone says in unison. “Yeah Jeffrey!” C.J. adds.

“What do you think Claude?” Asked Tommy.

Claude shrugs as Lazlow cuts in. “As the host of chatterbox I believe I should let you guys know my opinion, and It is this guy can help us.” Tommy rolls his eyes.

“Yo!” The look to see Jay Banks from their job in San Andreas standing outside the truck. “You guy’s are going to need all the help you can get.”

“Jay?” Said Tommy confused. “Where the hell did you came from?”

“I was at the concert when I saw you guys on stage.” He said. “I booked. There where way too many mobsters. Then I spotted Tommy in the truck so I followed in my new Patriot.” He points to it behind him. “There’s some deep shit that needs to be taken care of because they took ActionMax.”

“And we can’t get fucking home without him.” Said Tommy.

“You’re going to need the cop with all the troops Leone has.”

“What so he can bring his buddies to arrest us.” Said C.J.

“Nah there’s a warrant out for the arrest of Max Payne. Yeah I know who you are.”

“Crooked cops.” Not the first time Max had been affected by them. “I knew Liberty was bad news.”

“Carl put your gun away.” Tommy sighs. “Listen detective I think we can work out a deal, and both profit from this.”

At the Gentlemen club ActionMax sits in a chair with a few mafia henchmen watching him, Joey enters the room followed by Nick. “You’re the guy Vercetti, Carl, and that silent guy is working for?” Joey asked looking at the young man. “What’s your name?”

“ActionMax, and the silent guy is Claude.”

“Whatever. Are they loyal to you?”

ActionMax thinks for a second. ‘They might not like me since I put them in this situation but they do need me alive.’ “Yeah I guess you could say their loyal to me.”

“Good. We’ve been watching you, and you should already have figured out that I bribed your guards.” ActionMax acknowledges Joey with a nod. “And we have the cops on the payroll taking care of Payne.”

“Do you really want those guys’s coming after me, and you?”

“I’m hoping they try it.” Joey smirks evilly. “I have men all over St. Marks ready for them, and if they don’t come a couple of death squads.”

“I can take care of them.” Said Nick. “I’ve killed guys like them before.”

“Well guys it sounds like fun but I’m getting out of here. Freeze.” ActionMax looks around noting nothing happened. “Freeze! Freeze please! Oh what the crap.”

Joey starts to laugh. “What are you doing?”

Luigi walks in the room with a letter in his hand. “Joey this just arrived for…him.”


“It says to ActionMax.” He reads off then gives it to him.

ActionMax takes the letter, and reads it out loud. “Dear ActionMax. You are abusing your powers as an author interfering with the fic’ therefore you have been cut off for now, and are now on your own. From the staff of Fan Fiction.”

“Alright what the hell’s going on?” Asked Joey.

“Great timing for this.” ActionMax crumbles the letter. “Now I really do need to rely on them.”

Chapter 17: Common Enemy: Part 2.

Later that night a private jet soars above Liberty City containing Carl, Tommy, Claude, and Max. “So what’s this genius plan again?” Asked C.J. piloting the plane.

“It’s simple.” Tommy explains. “Jay has rounded up all of ActionMax’s loyal men. He’s going to distract most off Leone’s troops hopefully getting most of them towards them, and we can parachute down onto Joey’s club. Then well take care of Leone, and his troops with the help of Mr. Payne here.”

“Right.” Max looks down out the window. “How did I get talked into this plan?”

“How did I get talked into this plan?” Said Lazlow driving an armored car through Portland. “I have wife, and kids.”

Loc is in the passenger seat grasping a 9mm with his shaking hand. “Chea. I’m to rich to die.”

“Whatever happened to that gangster attitude?” Mocked Lazlow.

“Shut up man!”

A slot from behind opens revealing Jay sitting in the back with the guards. ‘Will you two cut it out? Its game time. We need to focus.”

“I want to ask why we are driving this thing. Why are we involved in this operation?” Asked Lazlow as he pulls into St. Marks.

“Because you need to do something, and since you’re both scared shitless you can drive us.” Jay said annoyed. “Were in an armored car you’ll be fine.”

Suddenly a bullet shatters the windshield. “Oh shit.” Loc ducks as does Lazlow.

“Let’s go Boyyyy’s!” Jay’s pumped jumping out the back with a pump-action shotgun. All the other guards are armed with M-16’s, the mobsters have the numbers but ActionMax’s men are better armed. Lazlow and OG Loc stay hidden in the truck.

Joey has just answered his cell phone. “There here. Alright more boys will be there to back you up. Make sure you Kill Vercetti, and his friends.” He looks at ActionMax with a smile. “Your friends are here. Their pretty stupid trying to take us head on. I have men crawling the area who will kill them.”

“Don’t get to cocky buddy.” ActionMax warns. “You have three crazy guys coming after you.”

“They may be crazy, but their not smart.” Said Nick as he loads a shotgun. “I hope at least one of them makes it here alive.”

“Yo everybody ready I’m circling over the club. Jay and the others must be in position by now. The night sky should give us cover too.” Carl looks out the window. “Who’s going first?” Claude steps up holding a pump action shotgun ready to go. “Yo cop you go after Claude, and Tommy after him. I’ll follow.”

“What about the plane?” Asked Max.

“Hopefully it will fly into the water.” Said Tommy with a smirk holding his Colt Python. “We don’t want to attract too much attention.”

“Let’s go!” Carl orders giving Claude the signal to jump.

Claude jumps without a second thought, followed by Max. Tommy stands in the doorway looking down. “Oh shit.” He finally jumps, followed by Carl who runs from the cockpit. They open their parachutes as they land in the order they jumped. “That was intense.” Said Tommy as they remove themselves from the parachutes preparing their weapons. “Where the hell did the plane go?”

Suddenly the plane crashes into the lighthouse just off the shore. “So much for being subtle.”

“Oh well lets go in and get these pricks before they rally together.”


“What the fuck!” Joey and Nick look out the window to see the lighthouse in flames. “A plane?”

“It’s got to be them there here.” Nick cocks his shotgun.

“Boy’s go check it out.” Joey orders his men, they leave the room. “Nick, Tell Joey to be prepared.”

ActionMax starts to laugh. “Getting nervous Joey?”

“No!” Gunshots followed by screams can be heard from outside the club. “Maybe.”

“I’m calling everybody back we’ll take care of these pests once and for all.” Nick dials into a cell phone.

Loc, and Lazlow watch the gunfight from inside the armored car. “Where the hell are the cops? Something’s not right.”

“I never thought I’d want to see those jerks in uniform again.” Loc holds his gun up.

A mafia henchman walks up to the drives side door opening it pointing a gun at Lazlow. “Ah what do we have here?”

“Oh SHIT!” A startled Loc shoots the mobster killing him. He then realizes what he has done. “Chea! I’m gansta! These mother fuckers better not fuck wit me!”

“Good Job.” Lazlow shakes.

Jay jumps into the back of the armored only followed by two guards. “We did our part now it’s time for them guys to finish the job. Get us out of here.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Lazlow puts the car in drive speeding out of there.

“Man they fucked us up quick. I hope them guys get it done quickly or their in trouble.”

Tommy, Carl, Max, and Claude step into the lounge area of the club bodies of Joey’s men all over the place. “They know where here now.”

“So what now?” Asked C.J.

“We need to split up to speed this along.” Said Tommy. “Carl, and Claude you go through that door. The detective and I will take the other hallway.”

“Yeah just watch you back.” Carl leads Claude one way.

Tommy turns to Max. “Now remember we need our guy ActionMax alive so make sure we play this smart.” They walk down a hallway both have their guns ready.

Carl, and Claude:

The duo walks into a large weight room in the lower levels of the club. “Where the hell is everybody in this house?” Claude shrugs.

“Hey right here.” Luigi stands at the other side of the room unarmed. “Hey kid how ya doing.”

They aim their weapons at him. “One of Joey’s main men?”

“Yeah I guess you could say that. Hey have you met my main man Mick?” Carl, and Claude slowly turn their heads behind them spotting the large man. He backhands Carl knocking him to the ground, and his guns away. He grabs Claude’s arms making sure he doesn’t get a good shot from the shotgun. He picks up the smaller man head butting him then throwing him into a rack of weights.

C.J. looks up just to see Claude go down; he springs to his feet ready for the fight. “You’re not so big. I’ll show you how I roll.” Carl charges landing a few punches in his stomach but having little effect. Mick blocks one punch then delivers a massive fist to Carl’s chest knocking him on his back. “Mother fucker.” He coughs inching closer to a squat rack.

“Finish them off Mick.” Luigi looks over to see Claude getting up raising his shotgun. “No.” Luigi quickly takes out a 9mm shooting Claude in the shoulder. The blast distracted Mick giving C.J. his opportunity taking a bar from the squat rack. Luigi hears a loud thud; he looks over to see Carl standing over an unconscious Mick. “You’re dead Johnson!”

Carl watches helplessly as Luigi aims to end his life a number of gunshots ring out causing Carl to flinch. He opens his eyes realizing it was Luigi who has been shot, right in the heart, he falls face down. “Shit.” Carl gets up with a groan. “That’s the third time you saved my ass.” He helps Claude up. “Let’s go, this aint over yet.” Claude grasps his wounded shoulder but is tough putting it in the back of his head.

Tommy and Max:

Max and Tommy continue to make there way through the halls of the club not yet encountering anyone. “Where the fuck is everyone?”

Max looks around unsure. “I don’t know, but I sure do have a bad felling about this.”

“You should!” Tommy, and Max turn their heads slowly to see Nick with a shotgun aimed at them. “Drop your weapons.”

“Yeah right prick.”

“You should do what he says.” Joey stands in front of them with ActionMax, and a mafia henchman pointing a gun at the young man. “You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to ActionMax here.”

“Shit.” Tommy realizes their in trouble. “What happened to your powers?”

ActionMax just shrugs. “I know this sucks.”

“Make your move.” Said Nick with a smirk.

Max looked back at each person in the room assessing the situation. “Tommy drop your weapon.”

“What are you a fucking moron?”

“Trust me.” Tommy reluctantly drops his colt. Max holds his 9mm above his head then lets it fall. He waits for the right moment grabbing the gun before it hits the ground he rolls forward taking a shot at Nick, which hits his shotgun causing him to drop it. He then turns firing a shot at the mobster behind ActionMax hitting him right between the eyes taking him out.

“Damn that was close.” The young man flinches.

Joey takes out a gun then grabs ActionMax. “I’m out of here, and I got a hostage.” Joey drags ActionMax along as he tries to escape.

“Vercetti take him I’ll go after the Leone.” Max follows Joey.

Nick and Tommy face each other the shotgun in between them they both dive for it each grabbing a part of it. “I’m gona kill you Vercetti!”

“Don’t think so prick!” They struggle for control of the weapon. “I’m going to get you for back at the bar.”

Nick starts to gain the edge as he pushes it towards Tommy’s face. “Killing you will be a thrill.”

Tommy head butts Nick knocking him back and gaining control of the shotgun. “Goodbye!” Tommy fires a shell into Nick’s chest sending his body flying backwards. “Nobody stops Tommy Vercetti.”

Max chases after Joey down the halls. Joey turns using ActionMax as a human shield so Max wouldn’t shoot. “Back off cop. I knew I should have stayed at the garage!” Max keeps his gun traced on him but spots help behind Joey. “I’m not going to jail.” Suddenly Joey fells a smack to the back the head, and everything goes black.

A freed ActionMax turns. “Carl! Claude! Man am I glad to see you guys.”

“Yeah sorry Joey old friend but you’re done.” Said C.J.

Claude stands over Joey with his gun pointed at him ready to finish him off. “Wait.” Max walks over. “He’s going to jail.” Claude shrugs.

“Where’s Tommy?” Asked Carl.

“Right here.” He walks down the hall. “You got him, its over?”

“Yeah, now let’s get the hell out of here before the mobsters show up.” Said ActionMax.

The group makes it way to the lounge to realize they have a big problem the Leone’s solders have regrouped, and where preparing to enter the mansion. “Damn man there must be hundreds of them.” Carl looks on.

“Were going to need to find another way out not even you four can take on that many guys.” Said ActionMax.

“I don’t think we’ll need too.” Said Tommy looking to the sky.

A Maverick approaches the club opening fire on the mobsters with a chain gun on the bottom Jay is the pilot. “Yeah take that mother fuckers!”

Many of them are hit others run to their sentinels driving off as others aren’t as lucky as their cars explode. “Haha they didn’t see that coming.” Said Tommy.

After the mobsters had been wiped out or retreated the Maverick hovers by the club. A rope ladder falls, Lazlow and OG Loc climb down it and over to the group. “Uh your ride is waiting guys.” Said Lazlow pointing to the copter. “I’ve had enough action for my lifetime.”

“I’m GANSTA! No mobsters wanted any of me.”

“Sure thing Jeffery.” Said Carl.

“We’ll this is it?” Said Tommy. “We have are guy, and we’ll walk away. You have Leone.”

“Yes.” Max and Tommy shake hand.

“Wow that’s cool I never would have guessed you four working together.” Said ActionMax amazed.

“But now we are enemies again if I have to I will arrest you.” Said Max with a smirk.

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about seeing me again.” Tommy walks toward the copter as ActionMax, and the Three Kings get aboard, and make their escape.

“Good job Jay.” Said ActionMax.

“Yeah you know I’m good like that.”

“Let’s get back to Love Media.”

Max stands with Lazlow, and Loc. “So what now?” Asked the radio show host.

“We wait for the Calvary.”

Sirens can be heard in the background “The cops?” Asked Loc. “Don’t they want you?”

Minutes later police cars, and a few FBI agents pull up to the club. “Freeze! Put em’ up.” An officer orders the three.”

“No wait.” Anderson has arrived on the scene. “That’s Payne.” Anderson runs up to Max as fast as he can and gives him a hug. “Payne I’m glad you’re okay. You did it.”

“Yeah.” Max replies uncomfortable.

“I knew you were framed, and I have a witness to prove it.” Said Anderson. “Come with me.”

A news truck arrives. “Oh chea can you say publicity.” Loc says happily.

“I just want to go home.” Said Lazlow walking away from the rapper.

Later Max and Anderson arrive at Mama’s Restaurant. “What are we doing here?”

Anderson looks over to Tony Cipriani who is talking to other officers. “Mr. Cipriani has entered the witness protection agency. Were going to forget his crimes, and move him somewhere safe.”

Tony’s mother can be heard from inside the restaurant. “I can’t believe you Tony! Witness protection Agency!”

“Yeah MA.”

“Your father would never have done this!”

“Sure Ma.”

“You thought you where a tough guy!”

“Ma!” He yells back. “This will give us a chance to be successful in the restaurant business!”

Max shakes his head. “Liberty is one of a kind.”

“Yes it is.” Anderson looks satisfied. “Wait Payne what about those three guys, what happened to them.”

Max thinks for a second. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about them for a while. But if they appear again. I’ll still be here in Liberty. This is my post now.”

The next day at Love Media Tommy and Carl prepare to leave. “Well guys this has been interesting and entertaining but now everything must go back to the way it was.” ActionMax walks over to the three kings standing in the office. Claude’s arm is in a sling.

“Finally.” Said Tommy.

“Hey guys no hard feelings right I mean even if I did interrupt your lives, and put you in great danger.”

“If you can get me home with everything the same I will forgive, and forget.” Said Carl.

“Alright who’s first?”

“Me.” Said Tommy stepping forward. “Well Claude, Carl this is goodbye.” They shake hands. “I’m sorry but I hope I won’t have to see you prick’s again.”

“See ya Tommy.” ActionMax snaps his fingers, and Tommy disappears back to where he was picked up in 1986.

“It’s now Time for me to go home to my bro sweet.” Carl steps forward. “Claude my boy it’s been fun. Before I go can you say something man ya know just a word.” Claude gives him the finger. ActionMax snaps his finger, and Carl disappears back to Grove Street 1992.

“Well that’s that.” Claude looks at ActionMax tapping his foot. “Oh crap sorry almost forgot. Claude all the property and money I took for you has been returned.” ActionMax now sits at his desk to speak to the reviewers. “We’ll that’s it for three kings.” Claude looks around unsure who he’s talking to.

“But don’t worry my friends because there will be more with sequels, and one shots involving the Three Kings.” As soon as Claude hears this he runs out of the room followed by a trail of smoke. “We’ll I would like to thank my loyal reviewers: Kitty Gaby. AdoptedThug, DoWriter12, Music Man, ryando, CrankyFranky, MasklessDuckman, Phoenix Master, uknown50, Aaron Gamemaster, I see my heart is black, Red County State trooper, The Mighty Weasel of Fire, SanAndreasPleb, yunainlovelol, Irisblue, and chump2469. And a special thanks to LordMasterKris reviewing every chapter. I thank you but the war is still on my friend.”

“We’ll there’s nothing left to do.” ActionMax sits dwindling his thumbs. “Oh I wonder whatever happened to Joey.”

Two prison guards escort Joey through a prison hallway to his cell. He enters the cell, and the door is shut behind him. “Have fun with your cellmate.”

“What?” Joey notices a man in his cell.

It is Lav. “Hey a new cellmate, you don’t need to worry buddy because they took all of my concealed lighters, and matches so there is no way I can set you on fire.”

“Oh man.”


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